Brazil Travel Log (also Reflection on Love and Irony)

Zero day.
Flip. I shut my passport flat after briefly marvelling at the reflective hologram on my Brazilian Tourist Visa sticker. I imagined all the pieces the universe helped assemble to get me to where I was. Saving up funds, gathering visa documents together, planning where to stay and what to do, etc. Brazil was calling for me. God wanted me to be there.

Day one.
I landed in Sao Paulo only to discover my checked in luggage had been left in Mexico. After sorting out the paperwork, I was assured it would arrive the morning after. They would reach out to me when the box arrived. I left customs and was greeted by Bruna and Caio, both received me with incredibly warm affection. Bruna handed me some coxinha and pão de queijo. Yum.

 

After a brief tour of Sao Paulo, they dropped me off at a cafe where I would wait for Tais. Tais arrived shortly after, I saw her and for the first time in my life, in all its entirety, I felt butterflies in my stomach.

Day two.
I walked around Sao Paulo after an amazing conversation with Tais in the morning. I went to mass, then trotted over to Avenida Paulista. There was vibrancy in the city, every Sunday the street hosted an array of buskers and food trucks to celebrate community just before the work week started. I took the public transit back to the apartment and helped Tais with her writing assignment. We watched a movie, ate pizza, discussed intellectual curiosities, and ended the night amicably. Something felt right.

Day three.
I met up with Caio shortly before my flight to Rio de Janeiro. We picked up my delayed package and I handed him my gifts from Canada. My arrival in Rio was insanely comical. I'll skip the details for now, but after making my way from the favelas to Copacobana, and finally to my hostel, I engage in an academic discussion with third year economics student Eline. It was fun. My brain exhausted, I called it a night.

Day four.
Cristo Redentor. Before me stood my Maker whom I adored devoutly. I said my prayers then descended the mountain. I walked around Copacobana, snacked on Pão de queijo, and toured Rio via Subway.

Day five.
Angras dos Reis. I bussed my way to Liliane. My Brazilian BFF. I met up with gorgeous and toured her city for a little bit. She had to head back to work, so I walked around and snapped some Instagram worthy photography with my Moto X. After her shift, we went for some late night snack with her friend Anna Paula, enjoyed some irreverant, sarcastic conversation and then parted ways. Note: authentic friendships are the best; these relationships are essential to our sanity and keep it in a constant state of equilibrium.

Day six.
I'm exhausted. I'm lonely in Rio. Beautiful as the city was I didn't have anyone to share the experience with. Liliane sent me a Facebook message to remind me of this: "Is so sad stay alone...". Thanks, Lili. I toured Pão de Acucar, snapped some pics, and headed back to my hostel. I called it a day and crashed for the rest of the night.

Day seven.
Had a brief encounter with an English bloke at the airport in Rio. It was refreshing to hear and speak proper English again. Hours later, I landed back in Sao Paulo, delighted to see her face.

I partied with philosophers. Tais wore red lipstick that night. Had a late night conversation with Tais. Went to bed smiling.

Day eight.
Bruna's wedding day. I slept in the car on the way to the venue. I was beat from the night before. The wedding was beautiful. Muddy and sticky, but beautiful nonetheless. I danced the Samba at the end of the night. I enjoyed it. Went home, exhausted, slightly inebriated.

Day nine.
Civil unrest. I awoke to calls of revolution on the streets. Brazil was ready to fight for (in)justice. Tais felt nauseous at the thought of it, she knew the president's impeachment was the wrong choice for the people. She knew rationally, it wouldn't solve anything. It was all just part of an elaborate coup methodically planned by corrupt politicians, manipulative media, and the wealthy elite to suppress social equality.

To help ease her a bit, I made her breakfast.

I participated in the protest as a Western observer. Snapped some pics of the rubber ducky. That night, Brazilian democracy ended with "thunderous applause."

Day ten.
I took the metro across the city to see Ponte Estadaia, snapped some pics,  then walked around Brooklin, the corporate yuppie district of Sao Paulo. I made Tais a sandwich for lunch. She loved it.

Day eleven.
More exploring, this time around the more ritzy neighborhood of Sao Paulo - Rua Oscar Freire. Just fancy window shopping, I had no intention of buying anything expensive. I made Tais some dinner. She said I was the first to ever do that for her. That made me smile. I was the first.

To wrap up the night, she made me tapioca dessert.

Day twelve.
We got drunk. We partied. We set boundaries.

Day thirteen.
I woke up in a reflective mood. My last day in Brazil. I thought about how epic it had been. How much I've learned. How much I've grown internally. My eyes opened even wider than before. This trip was different. I didn't want to go back.

Tais and I had more insightful conversations. We contemplated on the meaningless of existence and determinism. Then countered it with possible theories of meaningful existence. Ultimately I affirmed, we cannot comprehend the mechanics of the universe in its entirety. God is too great for man's understanding. But we should keep going. We are rational, resilient, creatures returning to the first cause, perfection that of which created us. Despite uncertainty, the future is full of hope. Self actualization was within her reach. She was on the right path. She acknowledged this. The conversation left us both dazed and clouded full of  questions. I had to nap it off.

I bought her a blue orchid. Cute moments happened at the airport before I left. Salty sweet sour cachaça after taste.

Epilogue.

She needed to focus on herself. Figure things out. I knew what that meant.

I contemplated on the irony of it all.

Human behaviour. Emotion. Rationality. Love. Angst. All fall under the purview of irony.

We do things we shouldn't. We make the wrong choices despite being fully aware of the right choices and the maturity to execute them. We choose what's convenient. What's easy. What's most pleasurable. We chew, choke, lick all things instantaneously gratifying. Our primitive desires still control us. Slaves to the reptilian brain from which we evolved from. A brain carrying obsolete evolutionary survival traits that should have been outmoded by the mammalian pre-frontal cortex; the epitome of evolutionary biological design for human rationality and reason.

We have the capacity to choose reason over desire. We recite this as mantra, include the thought in our daily routines, but in action almost never follow through. 

We often can't control what our hearts desire. This I know to be true. The consequences of such are bitter sweet. None more bitter and sweet than unrequited love. How cruel and twisted world is this to have been given a heart that longs for things it cannot have, and often reject the things it can.

Malicious irony. Tease me. Frustrate me. Humiliate me. Have your way. Futility. Inevitability. Such is the nature of the universe and its grandiose ambition for man.

Scheme, manipulate, spin as much as we want, in the end we know are we not in control.

It's only when we surrender do we find peace. It's only in surrender do we find love. I surrendered and reminded myself, "I want what You want." Heavenly Father, Almighty God, I surrender. I want what you want.

In Brazil, I want what you want.

And there, I found love.

Appendix.

É o bonde do dom que me leva
Os anjos que me carregam
Os automóveis que me cercam
Os santos que me projetam
Nas asas do bem desse mundo
Carregam um quintal lá no fundo
A água do mar me bebe
A sede de ti prossegue